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MawMaw Sandwich

MawMawsandwich

This evening being alone at the house, I decided to fix me a “MawMaw Sandwich.” I call it that because it’s what my grandmother would fix on Sunday evenings. If you stopped in for a visit, she would insist on assembling you a sandwich too, even if you weren’t that hungry. It consisted of toast, fried bologna, cheese, and tomato. Tonight, I added scrambled egg on mine to give it some extra oomph. I lived with my grandparents for a few years when I was in college and having this simple meal with them was a highlight of my Sundays.

My grandparents are gone now, but those memories linger. They were so hospitable and kind, if we had friends with us, they’d extend a sandwich to them as well. We’d sit together, talk, watch tv and enjoy the pleasure of a simple sandwich. It’s those small things that you remember when time passes. I miss those times. I miss them.

My grandparents taught me many things. They taught me to look out for others. They taught me to keep God first. They taught me that God’s love never fails. They taught me the importance of prayer. They taught me that church is important because we need each other….we need community. Nowadays, we have so many ways to communicate. But, my heart longs for old fashioned communication. My heart longs for breaking bread with others. My heart longs for knowing people more, hearing what they struggle with and really listening to them. I’m guilty of being selfish though. I get tired, come home, connect to the internet, and disconnect from those closest to me. I don’t want to keep doing that. It’s time for me to reconnect to the simple things instead.

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Balancing Act

I’ve been reflecting on this thought for a week or so.  I used to be pretty bad about putting all my thoughts and energies on one thing or person.  I don’t know if it’s age or experience that has taught me that it’s best not to do that.  When I was first married, everything I did was for my husband.  I was constantly trying to create the perfect marriage, relationship, and be the best wife.  The downside to that was that anytime he was late coming home or had other things he had to do, I felt alone and disappointed.  My identity was wrapped up in our marriage.  So without him, I felt like I was nothing.  I did the same thing when my son was born.  I strived to be the best mother.  I wanted to be available to him at all times.  After doing this for years, I suddenly felt disconnected from anyone who wasn’t a parent. I’ve consistently moved from different people or things to focus all my energy on until the past few years.  I feel that I balance my life pretty well now, I have time with God, my husband, my son, myself, and with others.  It is so easy to become completely consumed by your job, a ministry, a hobby, or a person.  But, it isn’t wise because if that something or someone disappears, then you feel devastated.  God has taught me so much within these last five years, I’m not sure if it’s just that I’m listening more or just experiences have led me to notice things differently.  Either way, I’ve learned that life is more full when all your eggs aren’t in one basket.

 
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Posted by on June 14, 2013 in Writing

 

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It’s what you leave

A year ago my grandmother passed away.  I remember being by her bedside earlier in the day before she left this world.  She was in pain, moaning, and couldn’t communicate with those who loved her.  She had been in the hospital and a nursing home for over a month.  Somehow that day when I went to see her, I knew within my spirit it was the last time I’d see her.  I kissed her on the cheek as I was leaving and told her goodbye.  I knew it was a forever goodbye.  I walked to my car, crying, but I didn’t want her to stay here and suffer any longer.  I knew it was best for her to go, but I also knew my Mom and grandfather wasn’t ready to let her go.  When I got home, I told my husband what I felt.  I cried and waited to hear.  Just as I had thought, the phone rang after 10.  I knew what it was about.  I answered and heard my mother crying, telling me that Mamaw had passed away. 

My grandmother was the greatest influence on my life.  She taught me to love others, to love God, and to hope for the best in others.  She would fix a sandwich or a meal for anyone if she thought they were hungry.  She was a grandmother to anyone she encountered.   So because of this, we grandchildren always were comfortable with bringing our friends in to visit alongside us.  My grandmother had a servant’s heart.  She had an enormous heart for others, she would pray for all of her family everyday.  I would often come to visit and before I knocked on the door, I would hear her and my grandfather praying, calling out our names to God to save us or help us in our problems.  She has left a legacy for our family.  We all were touched by her and I know her prayers didn’t go unheard.  I miss you, Mamaw! 

 
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Posted by on April 11, 2013 in Writing

 

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Time Keeps On Ticking

“There is a special time for everything. There is a time for everything that happens under heaven. There is a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pick what is planted. There is a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up. There is a time to cry, and a time to laugh; a time to have sorrow, and a time to dance. There is a time to throw stones, and a time to gather stones; a time to kiss, and a time to turn from kissing. There is a time to try to find, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to throw away. There is a time to tear apart, and a time to sew together; a time to be quiet, and a time to speak. There is a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.” Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
It is time for a new year to begin. This year may have been a hard year for you or it may have been a beautiful one with many memories. So, as most of you, I am reflecting on the year that is ending and wondering what the new one holds. This month, my husband and I were surprised by news that his sister was having twins. So, we were blessed with twin nieces. I’ve also had several close friends have babies this year. In April, my grandmother passed away. She was one of the biggest influences in my life. I love and miss her greatly, especially at family gatherings and holidays. I miss her smiles and giggles. I miss her hugs and her advice. I miss her gentle spirit and big heart.
The first half of the year I thought our business wouldn’t make it to the end of the year, but it did and there is renewed hope that it will survive a little longer. Our church has grown; I’ve seen new faces come into the youth group. I’ve had teens graduate out and teens graduate into the group. Our format changed in the fall, we meet on Friday nights and it has grown our group some. I’m learning alongside the teens, God has new things for us to learn each day. Sometimes it’s a repeat lesson, but it’s always a needed one. My son transitioned from elementary school to middle school. He’s growing up quicker than I want him to.
Every year we make resolutions or promises of change. How often do we keep the resolution? Why do we usually not? Do we just slip back into the routineness of life? Do we have things happen to us that knock us off of our hopes of change? Regardless, of whether you keep the resolutions or not, life still happens. If you wake up, there is a day for you to live. Every day consists of time to be spent. There is time each day that is allotted for a specific purpose, time you have to use for only that purpose, such as work. But, each day also consists of free time. How do you spend your free time? I’ve wasted a lot of time. I’ve also made memories with others with my free time. God gives us all time on this earth to use, to learn from, to spend, to do, and to be. What does 2013 consist of? We shall see.

 
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Posted by on December 31, 2012 in Spiritual Reflections

 

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