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Precious Life

hands-holding-newborn-baby-feet“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

Sixteen years ago, I was anxiously waiting the moment of going to the hospital to be induced for labor. I was very nervous about what to expect and I prayed throughout my pregnancy for a healthy baby. All of my prenatal appointments went well for the most part. I was screened early on for my sugar and was told to watch it because the sugar levels weren’t the best. So, I stopped eating my usual honeybun for breakfast before work and started watching what I ate. The last month of pregnancy is the hardest when you are a first time mom. I questioned every small pain or twitch, wondering if I needed to rush to the hospital or not. I have a pretty high pain tolerance and because of it, I ignored any small amounts of pain. However, a few weeks before I was induced, I was having a lot of pressure. I thought it was time for me to go into labor. I called my husband in a panic and then my mom and mother in law to quiz them to see if I should go to the hospital. My husband came home and went onto the hospital. Once we got there, they checked me and said I was fine and that it wasn’t time. I was upset and didn’t want to go home because I knew how I felt and I was overly anxious. When I got home, I took a warm bath, cried, and prayed.
The day arrived for me to be induced. I expected everything to run smoothly and figured I’d be a mother before the end of the day. Instead, I was dilating slowly and my blood pressure was going up. Next, the medical team informed me that my platelet count was low and that I would not be able to receive an epidural. I wasn’t hurting too bad yet, so I thought, “Eh. It’s ok, I’m tough and can handle it.” My husband, mom and mother-in-law were in the room with me that evening waiting for my son to arrive. I was nervous and I know they were anxious and probably nervous as well. Meanwhile, there was a waiting room full of family and friends waiting for the baby to arrive. But, that day was not the day that my son would be born and the closer it got to midnight, the thinner the audience was in the waiting room. I honestly can’t remember much after midnight because the pressure was starting to mount and contractions were becoming stronger. The pain was kicking in. I kept thinking to myself, “any minute”….but every time the nurses checked they would shake their head no and leave the room. The rest of the evening is a fog in my memory. I remember asking for something for the pain, they gave me Demerol. It’s the only thing they could give me for my condition. I remember around seven o’clock in the morning that I was pushing and trying to have my son. There was a lot of concern during that time. I learned afterwards that they were close to doing an emergency C-section on me, but at 7:38 a.m. April 25, he arrived. I remember hearing his cry and then I crashed. I fell asleep.
I was diagnosed with HELLP syndrome. I had never heard of it before. It’s a severe stage of preeclampsia. When my son was born, the doctor noticed the placenta wasn’t attached to him. I was told a lot of things medical wise that I didn’t understand. Both my son and I had to stay several days to make sure we were alright. I was told that I would probably need a bone marrow transfusion. I didn’t want that to happen, I prayed and others at my church prayed. My blood count went up in a few days and I didn’t have to have that transfusion. I was told by my doctor that I was very lucky. They were worried that they were going to lose me, the baby or both of us. But, God had different plans. I know God’s hand was on me and my son the whole time.
Now, my son is about to turn sixteen. He’s almost an adult and this year because he’s approaching adulthood, I’m keenly reminded of the miracle of his life. I’ve been asking him lately what his goals are. I don’t really want him to grow up, but you can’t stop that. Right now, he’s unsure about what he wants to do. I pray that he will understand that God has him here on this Earth for a reason; He has a plan for His life. I pray that he seeks God first on all things concerning his life.

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It’s what you leave

A year ago my grandmother passed away.  I remember being by her bedside earlier in the day before she left this world.  She was in pain, moaning, and couldn’t communicate with those who loved her.  She had been in the hospital and a nursing home for over a month.  Somehow that day when I went to see her, I knew within my spirit it was the last time I’d see her.  I kissed her on the cheek as I was leaving and told her goodbye.  I knew it was a forever goodbye.  I walked to my car, crying, but I didn’t want her to stay here and suffer any longer.  I knew it was best for her to go, but I also knew my Mom and grandfather wasn’t ready to let her go.  When I got home, I told my husband what I felt.  I cried and waited to hear.  Just as I had thought, the phone rang after 10.  I knew what it was about.  I answered and heard my mother crying, telling me that Mamaw had passed away. 

My grandmother was the greatest influence on my life.  She taught me to love others, to love God, and to hope for the best in others.  She would fix a sandwich or a meal for anyone if she thought they were hungry.  She was a grandmother to anyone she encountered.   So because of this, we grandchildren always were comfortable with bringing our friends in to visit alongside us.  My grandmother had a servant’s heart.  She had an enormous heart for others, she would pray for all of her family everyday.  I would often come to visit and before I knocked on the door, I would hear her and my grandfather praying, calling out our names to God to save us or help us in our problems.  She has left a legacy for our family.  We all were touched by her and I know her prayers didn’t go unheard.  I miss you, Mamaw! 

 
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Posted by on April 11, 2013 in Writing

 

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