Tag Archives: thoughts

Dear So and so,

Dear so and so.  I have so many things I’d like to say to you, but don’t know how to say them.  I don’t want to say the wrong words and upset you.  Yet, I don’t know what the right words are to say.  I guess for one thing, I can tell you…..

Backspace, backspace, backspace…..delete.


Hey! How’s it going? I just want to let you know that I have something heavy on my heart that I want to share with you.  Remember that time……

Sigh, crumble….toss

Life is hard and I make stupid mistakes.  I speak before I should.  I jump before looking to see if it’s wise to.  I think I have it all figured out and then suddenly realize that I don’t know anything.  Anyway, what I need to say to you is that I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to overstep my bounds or make everything a mess.  I hope you forgive me and see that I’m a just a dumb human.


Words are hard to deliver, especially if you don’t know if the recipient is willing to accept them.  How many times do you write a novel to someone and know those are the words that you should not send them?  Sometimes you’ll hear the voice to delete the whole rant and then other times you hit send and then kick yourself for being such a butt.

But sometimes you feel a great need to send someone a message, not to be nasty or nosey, but out of urgency.  Even those can be misunderstood.  I just pray that when that happens, that they will see I’m not against them.  If things are quiet on the other end, I may not really realize what’s going on. I have no control over anyone else; I can’t make them listen to me.  Obedience is hard and sometimes you don’t understand why the Holy Spirit prompts you to say something, especially when things result differently than you expected.  God I did what you asked… them to receive what you want them to hear.



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Posted by on June 11, 2018 in Writing


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Pointing Fingers

“Who are you to judge the life I live?  I know I’m not perfect -and I don’t live to be-but before you start pointing fingers…make sure your hands are clean!”   Bob Marley

I have been slowly reading a book called “Fearfully and Wonderfully Made,” it is an interesting read that is causing me to reflect on different things about the Christian life.  It is written about the physical body in scientific terms and speaks about the body of Christ in a metaphorical way.  In turn, this morning I read about fingers and so I decided to explore the Bible and see what it said about fingers.  The first reference that popped up was the magicians referring to the plagues of Egypt as the finger of God.  The next reference was God’s finger writing on the tablets for the Ten Commandments, then later on in the New Testament, it led me to Jesus’ finger writing in the dirt in John 8.  I love this picture of Jesus.  The teachers of the law and Pharisees bring this woman accused of adultery in front of Christ.  They are pointing fingers at this lady for what she has done and Jesus in turn kneels down and starts writing on the ground.  I wonder what he wrote, the Bible doesn’t say.  It just says that he writes on the ground.  Perhaps, he wrote down the Ten Commandments, since the teachers and Pharisees brought up the law.  Maybe he was drawing a picture or maybe he was just doodling.  We really don’t know.  But we know how He reacts.  He draws or writes something, I picture him doing it quietly and then he stands up and says whoever is without sin, be my guest at throwing the first stone.  He then goes back to the ground and writes in the dirt some more.  Imagine how angry the accusers are.  Imagine how ashamed the accused is.  But also, imagine the looks of the crowd, wondering exactly what Jesus is up to.  Slowly, the crowd and accusers leave the scene and only Jesus and the woman are left.  After all the accusers and crowd have left, Jesus stands back up and looks at the woman.  He says, “Where are your accusers?  Has anyone condemned you?”  She replies and says, “No one has.”  Then Jesus counters with “Then I don’t either, now go and sin no more.”

I started thinking about how often Christians and really just humans in general are quick to point the finger at someone.  We are quick at judging and placing blame elsewhere instead of looking at ourselves in the mirror and letting God work on ourselves.  Typically others respond to finger pointing by giving the finger back to the one pointing it.  Pointing fingers only causes the other person to feel anger, shame, and annoyance with the pointer.  It doesn’t change whatever they have done or are doing.  It more than likely just fuels the sin instead of putting the sin out.  I know that times in my life when I’ve been accused by someone for something, I’ve just rebelled even more.  That’s not Jesus’ response.  The thing is, God wrote the law…He made the rules.  He saw that man couldn’t keep the rules perfectly, so Jesus came in the flesh to be save us.  When Jesus bent down and wrote in the dirt, then talked to the woman, he told her not to sin anymore.  In other words, he was extending forgiveness to her, he offered salvation.  But, the ball was in her court whether she accepted his forgiveness and mercy and changed.

I guess the reason I’ve reflected so much on this is because I come across people a lot who clearly aren’t living a sinless life, but I don’t see where if I scream at and accuse them or remind them that they are in need of judgement where that would help anything. Instead, it would only cause them to flip me the bird and tell me to get the heck away from them.

Galatians 3:13 says, “But Christ has rescued us from the curse pronounced by the law. When he was hung on the cross, he took upon himself the curse for our wrongdoing. For it is written in the Scriptures, “Cursed is everyone who is hung on a tree.”   Jesus saves; he extends his hand of forgiveness to all of mankind.  He does so with this amazing love that is hard to run from if you clearly see it.  When Jesus turned to look at the lady who was standing there and he asked those questions….I’m sure she never felt so much love in her entire life, just by his actions and grace.  So tell me, which way is better at encountering those who are lost?  I’d rather do it Jesus’ way.


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Thoughts Under a Microscope

thoughtbrainA thought cradled for awhile may dissipate into a thrown away opportunity. I’m sure there have been many ideas that I’ve discarded due to fear of failure or rejection. Some reoccur out of the blue, reminding me there is a reason for them resurfacing in my brain matter. But still, I shove them away or forget them once again.
Other thoughts are harder to push away like those of what ifs, why’s or if only. Don’t you hate those types? They haunt you at the oddest times. They remind you or your mistakes. They pinpoint weaknesses within. They jab you with guilt that was erased forever ago.
Then, there are those thoughts that take you away from your circumstances, the daydreaming thoughts. Most of my daydreams as a child were thoughts that ran amuck slinging colors and ideas on the canvas of my impressionable mind. These thoughts carried me to places I wanted to visit and I imagined living at these places and doing things that I’ve never done. The imagination of a child is a room filled with bright colors, uncontrollable laughter, and surreal happiness.
There are those thoughts that you allow to escape your mouth that are laced with anger, hate, jealousy and bitterness. Those thoughts are arrows often shot at those closest to you and then some ricochet wounding innocent bystanders. Sometimes these thoughts are shared with others with a whisper in a corner. The whispers are poison filled darts.
Thoughts, whether kept to yourself or shared can be an igniting spark in both a positive or negative way, depending on the source of the thought. When we allow God’s thoughts to become our thoughts, only good can happen. God is truth, our own fleshy thoughts confuse us and impair what God wants us to see and know. Examining the source of these thoughts come from dissecting the fruit of the thoughts. “But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” Galatians 5:22-23. If the fruit is opposite of this, it is rotten, spit it out and throw it away. Discard the thoughts that destroy. “Do not act like the sinful people of the world. Let God change your life. First of all, let Him give you a new mind. Then you will know what God wants you to do. And the things you do will be good and pleasing and perfect.” Romans 12:2 (NLV).

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Posted by on September 21, 2015 in Spiritual Reflections, Writing


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Be Still and Know


Escaping out of the hot house, I listen to the noises of the night and watch a spider intricately spin it’s web.  The evening air cools my sticky skin, while the vast orchestra of crickets soothes my mind with a slow dance.  Lightning bugs lift like lanterns in a dusky atmosphere.  Birds wings flutter as they nestle in their nests, singing to themselves a quick lullaby.  The street light reflects on the silent cars that have finally parked after daily errands. 

The spider is on night shift, I sigh in relief, knowing that my day is done.  Stillness is necessary in rest.  I drown out stillness too much with entertainment.  Constant noise arrests my thoughts because it doesn’t want me to be still.  The spider sits for a moment waiting for something to get caught in his web.  Then he softly cascades downward with another line of thread to cover a larger area.  God captures my attention when outside interference is removed.  Stillness hushes the worries of the day with promise of a new day approaching.  God doesn’t have to yell as loud at me when everything is turned off and I am tuned in. 





Posted by on June 17, 2014 in Spiritual Reflections


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A Life Marked

Slates of marble

Arranged in deathly order

Stood silently as I pedaled past

Climbing the hill with a steady puff.


Reaching the top

I stepped off my bike

Perching myself on a flat monument

That overlooked the sea of souls past.


Stillness rested there

A place for my thoughts to dance eerily

Trying to find meaning to this thing called life.


Like a bird hidden high upon a branch

I watched the town move

While the cemetery lay solemn. 


Life in present, moments in past, and hopes for the future

Swirled in the depths of my mind

As I simultaneously pondered the names that surrounded me.


Recent markers were decorated with soft colored blooms

While older ones were overwhelmed with weeds hiding part of the name

Missed or forgotten.

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Posted by on March 2, 2014 in Poetry


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That’s Not Your Seat

My grandfather used to have a tag on his car that said, “God is my co-pilot.”  I thought it was a cute saying.  Last night that phrase came to my mind and I started thinking that it’s not really that good of a thought.  I will admit that I am a control freak.  I do not like it when things don’t go as I had planned or something unexpected happens.  I know it’s not a good characteristic but some things are just to obvious to deny.  So, because I’m a control freak, I know that I often put God in the co-pilot seat.  I want to drive, I want to know where I’m going.  God can come along for the ride, He can be there if I get in a jam to help me out…..if I listen to Him.   The truth is God wants to be my pilot and your pilot.  Maybe He wants to take the scenic route, when I want to hurry and get to my destination. Maybe He is taking another route because He is all knowing and prevents me from getting hurt.  Maybe He wants someone else to ride along that I may not particularly want around.  He could even want to take me on a shortcut and I’m going the long way, because I am used to that way.  Whatever the case may be, I need to let God be in control instead of me. 

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord, ‘plans for well-being and not for trouble, to give you a future and a hope. (NLV)

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Posted by on January 25, 2013 in Spiritual Reflections


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What are you afraid of?

With today being Halloween, the thoughts of what are you afraid
of pops into my mind.  If I was asked
that question my first response would be that I’m afraid of heights.  I like the idea of being on top of the world,
but the higher I climb the tighter my chest becomes and panic starts to set
in.  I don’t like fear gripping me like
that, especially when I want to try many things that involve heights.  So, I slowly push myself to get closer to the
edge.  I take a deep breath, quick look,
and then move back to where I feel I’m safe from falling.

After I think further into what I’m fearful of, I realize
that a greater fear is the ones that attack my mind and keep me
immobilized.  I’m fearful of failure, not
living up to what’s expected of me, or fear of what others might think of
me.  Having fear grip you like this,
keeps you from moving into experiences that were meant for you.

The definition of fear is an emotion experienced in
anticipation of some specific pain or danger (usually accompanied by a desire
to flee or fight).  So, how do you
typically react to fear?  Are you paralyzed
by it? Run from it? Or stand firm and fight it?
Where does the fear come from?
How do overcome fear?  With my
beliefs, I believe fear comes from Satan. He deceives us by making us see
something that isn’t really there or by having us occupy our fears to where we
don’t want to move away from them.  Deep
down I know that God wants me to fight the fear, because he is beside me and
wants me to conquer it.  We can conquer
fear with confidence knowing that God is beside us the whole time.

This morning I decided to watch the old classic movie The
Wolf Man (1941).  I’m not a big fan of
current horror movies, because they are filled with more gore than actual
substance.  And I know the classics are a
bit cheesy but often have a lot to say.
One of my favorite quotes in this movie is when Doctor Lloyd says “I
believe a man lost in the mazes of his own mind may imagine that he’s anything.”  Isn’t that what fear does to us?  It makes us imagine things as truth when it’s actually not.  It makes us see ourselves
as weak and helpless.  God tells us
throughout the Bible to not be afraid.  “For
I am the Lord, you’re God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, do
not fear, I will help you. (Isaiah 41:13) So, instead of getting lost in the
mazes of your mind and imagining you are weak, remember you are actually strong
because the Lord is beside you.


Posted by on October 31, 2011 in Spiritual Reflections


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Electronic Hoarding Begins

I have a confession to make.
I’m a hoarder of musings, writings, thoughts, cards, letters or anything
that contains words.  Most of my
collection are my own private journals, poems, stories, and attempted
writings.  I have boxes of such things in the attic, stuffed in drawers, or piled upon the computer desk.  Why I have kept all of this stuff, I do not
know. With the cards, letters and journals it’s simply for sentimental reasons.
I’ve only shared these things with a
few people in my life.  But, the majority
has been read only by me as I write them or reread them.

I believe my husband has inadvertently
introduced me to the world of blogging so that this paper collection of mine
will start to cease.  What better
solution for a writing hoarder than to introduce publishing her random thoughts
to a vast audience who may or may not see what she has to say.  That way everything is out of sight, out of
mind….yet still accessible.  It’s not as
if I haven’t stored writings on the computer in the past.  My document file is pretty full, but to tell
the truth anytime I’ve saved anything on the computer, I’ve printed out a copy
as well.  Maybe it’s my distrust in
technology for storing my personal data.
You never know when the hard drive will decide to bite the dust.

Yes, I know blogging has been around
for a pretty good while.  Just ask my
husband and he’ll tell you I’m overly cautious about trying out anything new
when it comes to technology.  In the same
breath, he will also tell you that once I do try it out I fall in love with
it.  Take for instance when the Kindle
first came out.  He, being a tech guru,
tells me how much I would love this gadget.
That it is something that I would definitely want.  I snarled up my nose and insisted that
holding an actual book could never be replaced by some thin electronic
gadget.  It just wouldn’t have the same
kind of feel and I wasn’t interested at all.
Needless to say, he couldn’t help himself.  He knew without a doubt that I would fall in
love with Kindle.  So, a few years back
when Kindle was brand new, he ordered one for me for Christmas.  I didn’t get it that Christmas because it was
on backorder.  Of course, he didn’t tell
me I was getting one anyway because I didn’t ask for it.  My birthday is in April.  I think he finally received the Kindle the
end of February or first of March.  So,
he waited until my birthday to give it to me.
I opened the present and put on a fake grin when I saw what it was.  This was going to replace my books sitting in
bookshelves?  I pulled out the gadget and
when I did, I saw cords.  Cords used to
make me uneasy.  I plug that where and to
what?  I questioned him on what if I ran
out of space, or if the book I ordered got lost, and how big of a learning
curve is this gadget?  He knows my patience
with learning anything new, I have none.
He turned it on for me and showed me how to purchase books in the
store.  Needless to say, he was right; I
fell in love with it and wouldn’t even think about parting from it now.

So now this paper trail I have
created all of my life will slowly creep onto the internet saving space in my
home but polluting the rest of the internet.
You can thank my husband for that!

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Posted by on August 19, 2011 in Writing


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