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Snapping The Pieces Together

ImageMy mood has been disconnected the past few days.  I haven’t been able to put my finger on it, but I know I don’t like the way I feel.  My mind has been reveling in things I can’t change from the past.  That shouldn’t have a hold of me in the now, but sometimes thoughts creep up and it’s hard to shake it. Our current finances are tight too and that shouldn’t affect my mood so much, but it does. I decide to move away from my thoughts for a moment and sit in my son’s room while he puts together a Lego set.  He’s building and talking about various things.  I watch his fingers quickly snap the pieces together and form the pattern he’s following in the book.  I hand him pieces that are next in line and he says something that speaks to me immediately.  He says . “I’ve got a song stuck in my head that I don’t want there anymore.  Do you know how I can get it out?”  I quickly reply, “Sure, play a new song to cover the other.”  He says, “Yeah, but I don’t want any song there, so I guess I could just go to sleep and it’ll go away.” 

How many times am I like that?  Instead of replacing the song stuck in my head with a better song, I just decide to escape from it.  I should instead let God put a new song in my heart. “I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.  He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.  He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.  Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.”  Psalm 40:1-3

I can’t lay in the pit and go to sleep.  I’m reaching out instead so He can lift me out of the pit and set my feet on a solid foundation.  My selfish foundation is a place where I sink, a place where I feel stuck, a place of dirt and filth.  I’ll open my mouth and sing the new song he has given me. 

 

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Balancing Act

I’ve been reflecting on this thought for a week or so.  I used to be pretty bad about putting all my thoughts and energies on one thing or person.  I don’t know if it’s age or experience that has taught me that it’s best not to do that.  When I was first married, everything I did was for my husband.  I was constantly trying to create the perfect marriage, relationship, and be the best wife.  The downside to that was that anytime he was late coming home or had other things he had to do, I felt alone and disappointed.  My identity was wrapped up in our marriage.  So without him, I felt like I was nothing.  I did the same thing when my son was born.  I strived to be the best mother.  I wanted to be available to him at all times.  After doing this for years, I suddenly felt disconnected from anyone who wasn’t a parent. I’ve consistently moved from different people or things to focus all my energy on until the past few years.  I feel that I balance my life pretty well now, I have time with God, my husband, my son, myself, and with others.  It is so easy to become completely consumed by your job, a ministry, a hobby, or a person.  But, it isn’t wise because if that something or someone disappears, then you feel devastated.  God has taught me so much within these last five years, I’m not sure if it’s just that I’m listening more or just experiences have led me to notice things differently.  Either way, I’ve learned that life is more full when all your eggs aren’t in one basket.

 
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Posted by on June 14, 2013 in Writing

 

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